Friday, May 4, 2012

A Bumper Crop of Lemons

Once again I have gone months without posting anything. I suppose it is because I hate to be so negative in my posts, but sometimes life gives you a bumper crop of lemons, and you spend most of your time trying to sort through it all. That is not really complaining, it is simply fact.

We are still dealing with my mother's breast cancer and my father's throat cancer. My mother's oncologist was arrested this week for conspiracy to commit murder and capital murder, so needless to say that has only added to the ongoing chaos in her life. Dr. Smith has been treating her for close to 2 years, and now she has to find a new oncologist in the middle of her treatment. It may not seem like a big deal to those of us who are healthy, but when you find a doctor who is on the same page as you when it comes to treatment options and medications, it is kind of a big deal.

This week my dad had a biopsy on his ribs to see if the cancer has spread there. He will soon undergo surgery to remove the lymph nodes on the side of his neck where the throat cancer was radiated, since it is still cancerous after chemo and radiation treatment. They may also have to remove them from the other side if doctors can agree that the cancer has spread to them as well. My dad has been "eating" from a feeding tube in his stomach since January, is unable to swallow, and can have no liquid without it going straight to his lungs. I guess I never thought a whole lot about throat cancer before, since you never really hear much about it. What I have learned is that it has immense life altering effects for the individual and caretakers. Boy have my eyes been opened!

I keep trying to get back in the groove, but it doesn't seem to be happening. I know we all deal with life's stressors in different ways, and I am figuring out that I am tempted to simply withdraw from most everything I enjoy. I finally forced myself to go to the gym last week, and that was a HUGE effort. I have to think that is a trick of the deceiver. To isolate those who could really benefit from the company of friends.

In the midst all of the chaos I am thankful that even on those days when I feel overwhelmed with it all, I can see the many blessings that surround me each and every day. I know that is my God carrying me through it all. He holds my hands and reminds me that He is in control. So when I am tempted to worry and ask why, I simply take the lemons and make a pitcher of lemonade.

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