"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
I have to admit I have been "off my game" lately. Not that I actually have a game of any sort, but that seems like the best way to describe life at the present moment. I tend to be a worrier. I want to fix things, and I want to control them.
I think about the plans we all make for ourselves each day, assuming that they will go as planned. Seldom do we stop and give pause to the myriad of circumstances that can often stop us dead in our tracks and the so-called "why" of it all. I think what defines those times of our lives is our response.
Most people who know me at all, know that Paul and I fully intended to have made a return trip to Haiti by now. We were captivated by Haiti, and our plan was to return as quickly as possible. As soon as we were home, we were planning our return trip...
Life, however, had other plans for us. We returned to find that my mother has Stage 4 cancer, and it has had a field day with her body. Needless to say, we are staying put until we know more about what is going to happen with her. I pray for God's healing for her body and her spirit, and I know that He can heal her if He so chooses. While I do believe, I still sometimes feel as if I have been punched in the gut. And as my mother's only child, I have felt so many things...Frustrated. Depressed. Angry. Overwhelmed. Stressed. Helpless. I think that helpless is the worst, and that comes from my inability to control or to fix the problem.
In the midst my roller coaster of emotions, I have, however, clung to the belief that there is indeed a reason for all that happens in this life. There is a reason that God tells us to take life one day at a time, and not to worry about what will happen tomorrow. Each day does indeed have enough trouble of its own. We have this day to live. We have this day to love. Worrying about what could happen tomorrow is a waste of the gift of today, and is actually evidence of a faith problem.
There is no peace or faith in the worry of what might happen tomorrow. Our only option is to trust that our God knows what He is doing. So while we may not see the ultimate plan while we are in the midst of our pain, we have to take comfort in the knowledge that He has us in the palm of His hand. He always has us. I think the only way to survive the stress of the unknown, is to let go of the reins, and let God.
